Lets start off with yesterday. Robert worked til 9pm. He came home for 15 minutes and had to leave again to go and work. I went over susans for awhile. I dont remember if I wrote this or not. It sounds familiar..LOL..
Anyways, he worked today from 8am-3:30pm and came home. Haylee woke me up right after he left and wouldnt stop crying for 4 hours. She ate, changed and burped and nothing worked. So, I was very very tired. On top of that the pacifiers were missing so my mom went and bought me a coffee and 2 pacifiers for Haylee. She finally went to sleep for like 15 minutes..LOL..
Robert came home. I surprised him with showing him that my old black work pants that are a size 14 fit me. I was so happy. I also told him I called Denny's and they new manager said that I can come down there and fill out another application and talk to Jeff about hiring me again since I used to work there before for 4 months. Before pregnancy..LOL..
Robert's ok with the idea since we need the money and all but Im a little nervous. I mean, Im still bleeding, I know To much info and Im still leaking milk..More to much info and I need to take this time to bond with Haylee.
But, on the other hand we really need the money since Robert cant find a job. He's tried so hard and no one will hire him. Its so sad.
My low housing will be here real soon and Im afraid I waitied for 3 years and I will hve to pass it up. So, I really need this job so I can get out of here and start our own life.
Robert did hurt my feelings a few minutes ago though. See, the whole upstairs had gotten so messy since Ive been home from the hospital. I havent felt like doing nothing. Well, duh I just had a kid..LOL..So, while Haylee slept off and on and Lily watching Barney I cleaned as much as I could.
Wel, Robert said he didnt see anyhting that I had done and it didnt look like I cleaned at all. I told him that it took me 3 hours just to do what I did cause Haylee kept crying and Lily needed fed, changed, and needed attention while Haylee would fall in and out of sleep.
I went in the other room and cried. He dont know but I did. Im trying so hard not to be depressed. Its hard taking care of two kids. I feel like Im taking care of both of them alone. I make bottles, formula,change both diapers, feed both kids,everything and he dont see how hard it is for me.
Everything is getting to me though. I think my livejournal and lj friends know more about how I feel then Robert does. Its sad. But so true. I talk to him sometimes, but other times he;s too tired or its just not a good time to bring things up like that.
I dont know. Welfare is fucking with me again. They send me a packet and by the way Robert wont tell me where it is at the moment cause he's trying to sleep, and I call asking why do I have to bring in all the stupid paperwork that I already filed out and they have everything on file. They tell me theres no one there by that name. Im so sick of them. I wonder if there is anything that can be done about them not knowing anything and being rude to people.
Anyways, thats about it for tonight. Im hoping to get some sleep, if Lily will just got to sleep.